Friday, January 20, 2006

Let It Go

I got an odd e-mail today, well yesterday actually since it's now 3:42am, a mass forward that looked like the rantings of what seemed to be a combination of several different types of people all wrapped up in one. An illiterate, drunken Southern Baptist preacher who had authored cheesy self-help books and was filling in for Ann Landers or Dr Phil and had just done too many bong hits. That'd be a good way to describe it. After reading it several times and filtering out the nonsense I noticed that the meaning of it seemed to hold especially true in regard to internet based friendships. If I paraphrase, cut and paste, and throw in a bunch of my own words I think I can give you the idea behind what was said along with a shitload of my own rambling. Here goes:

"There are people who can walk away from you. When people can walk away from you, let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. People leave you because they are not joined to you and if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay. If it takes too much sweat you don't need it. Stop begging people to stay. Let them go!! It doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. It's like that old 'Reason Season Lifetime' thing that went around forever ago. (google it ) You've got to know when someone's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to write a chapter that can never be finished."

I've got the gift of good-bye. I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I can usually sense when someone's part in my life is over and understand what that means. There comes a time when you just have to let it go. I can do that. I don't always like when I do it, and tonight was one of those times. I may wonder if I did the right thing, was I too hasty, etc... but it's done. The goodbye was said even if it was not said literally. That's the second time in a week that I've felt I needed to do this, another goodbye in a long series of goodbyes that I thought would never be said. It's ironic that the very people whom you think are the ones that you'll never say goodbye to are invariably the ones you do say it to.

Internet friendships can be tough. They require (in my opinion) a few things that are not always easy to accomplish. Respect, not just for a person but for their thoughts, opinions, beliefs, lifestyle, etc... Just because you live or think differently doesn't mean they're stupid, wrong or anything else. Do what you have to do to be sure that a respect issue does not become a bigger issue, then let it go. If someone does something which offends you while trying to respect you and themselves at the same time, understand the big picture and let it go. Honesty is another big one. Not total, complete, unerring brutal honesty either, that's rubbish and it rarely if ever happens. Everybody tells little white lies. It's the big ones I'm talking about. Who or what you are, what someone else is to you, major changes in your life, these are important. If you can't be honest about those, you'll lose the third and probably most important requirement, Trust. Damaging this trust can take a long time and a lot of work to repair. Losing it altogether usually can not be repaired.

In no way am I claiming to be perfect here, I'm sure I've screwed up several times along the way. These are just observations, my opinion be it right or wrong. With that, I will end this ramble, it's taken an hour for me to put my thoughts into words, see what happens when I think?

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