How To Inflate The Cost Of A Divorce

In their never ending quest to blow this divorce as far out of proportion as humanly possible swcnbn and her attorney have now demanded I sit for a scheduled 2 hour deposition. We have next to nothing in the way of assets, basically the house, furniture of no significant value, a couple of fairly expensive Persian rugs, our vehicles and our personal effects but now I have to deal with a deposition too. Several hundred more dollars down the drain, and there is absolutely nothing which will be gained by her from this. They seemed determined to escalate this into a sequel to War of the Roses, something worthy of the Trumps themselves. They act like I have beachfront condos, billion dollar bank accounts and a fleet of Learjets stashed somewhere.

I'm starting to think her attorney is just an immoral horse's ass, taking any action he can think of for the sole purpose of creating billable hours so he can milk his client for every last penny. He doesn't seem to have any interest at all in actually resolving anything, he simply continues to create additional obstacles. Sadly, swcnbn is dumb enough to let him.

Crazy Amount Of Paperwork

Today I got something called a First Set of Interrogatories and Request for Production of Documents. It looks like nothing but a waste of money and time. It's a bunch of questions demanding every last detail of every financial transaction, asset or liability active in any way whatsoever during the past 3 years, with supporting documentation required. So now I have a huge stack of papers to fill out, a bunch of forms I need to copy in triplicate then fill them out too, then copy the whole mess so I don't have to pay my attorney an exorbitant fee to do so herself.

Then I have to make copies of every page of 3 years' worth of statements, all for an account which is closed, was evenly split, has been mutually agreed upon by both swcnbn and myself to be evenly split, and swcnbn already has copies of most of them anyway! It's going to cost me over $100 just to get the statements from the bank, and it will take hours for me to copy them a page at a time on my little Lexmark inkjet multifunction printer. Than I must provide the same for the account which was created with the money we split from that closed account, even though it is now deemed no longer a marital asset!

That's just the beginning. It's going to take me weeks to get this done. I'll never get any work done to prep this house for sale at this rate. Shoot me now. Better yet, shoot her. maybe Dick Cheney could take her hunting?

Silly Demands, Part 2

I got another letter from swcnbn's attorney demanding that I pay the airfare and resort fees and stating that I must. The only thing I must do is tell her no, again.

Silly Demands

Today I get a letter from swcnbn's attorney informing me that I owe her about $3,100 from her trip to the Philippines. You know, the one that I didn't take. I supposedly owe over $2,000 for resort costs and I also supposedly owe her sister almost $1,100 because swcnbn claims her sister paid for the airline tickets. She had 10 days notice that I wasn't going but her phone log showed no calls to the resort or to the airline, she didn't even try to cancel so she can kiss my ass. I'm not divorcing her sister so she can kiss my ass too. Swcnbn used the room herself, she's lost her mind if she thinks I'll be paying for it. I had previously offered to pay for the airfare but she refused. That was her decision, she can deal with it. I'll pay it if and when a judge orders me to, that's the only way she'll see a penny. It's another lie anyway, I found out swcnbn had taken $7,000 from her pension plan back in January, I'd bet good money part of that went to repay her sister so in actuality her sister didn't pay a thing.

How very fitting that her last 2 initials are BS, she is all BS all the time.

Spousal Support Order

Today was the Spousal Support hearing. Quite the interesting experience. She who can not be named lied to the Domestic Relations Officer 4 times while trying to make it seem like she actually pays for her health insurance and claiming that most of the furniture she took wasn't ours but was borrowed from her sister, lol. She tried 3 different twisted responses in an attempt to make it sound like she paid for the insurance but our health insurance is 100% paid for by her employer, and the furniture was paid for by us. I called her on her lies which didn't do much to make her look good.

Then it got real funny, I could barely keep a straight face when the DRO started reading the court order. She who can not be named has to pay me $460.73 every two weeks and it will be taken directly from her paycheck. She is also under court order to continue my health insurance under her current plan, and once I have paid a total of $250 out of pocket medical expenses she is required to pay 72% of the rest. Her attorney already stated his intention to appeal but in the meantime she's stuck paying it. I feel a couple trips to the dentist coming on, lol. So far her bitch attitude isn't working out real well for her. Poor thing.

The funniest part of the entire day was her sister. For reasons unknown the sister thought she'd be allowed in to the hearing. She was all dressed up and ready to do her meddling as she followed swcnbn, myself and both of our attorneys into the conference room. She was stopped by an official hand in her face and asked who she was, then told she couldn't enter. The look on her face was priceless, I wish I could have a picture to forever memorialize her expression. You've heard the expression "Her face fell..?" Well, hers did. It was so cartoonish that in my head I could hear the cartoon soundtrack of a trombone making the waw, waw, waw, wawwww sound. It took great effort to keep from laughing at her. That was the highlight of my day.

New Attorney And A Spousal Support Claim

This just gets more ridiculous by the day. I had already obtained an attorney before she who can not be named decided that being a thieving bitch was the best way to reach a quick and equitable settlement and facilitate as quick and painless a divorce as possible. This attorney had agreed to handle the case for an extremely low hourly rate and based on my description of our relatively low assets she figured it to cost no more than $1,000. She would file the divorce papers and take it from there.

Scratch that plan. Jeannette, in all of her infinite wisdom, has decided after stealing the bank account, our joint tax refund check and most of our joint possessions that she should also be the one to file. Accordingly, she hired an expensive attorney with a reputation for being very difficult to work with. That means I had to hire a different attorney, one who specializes in family law. So now, instead of one attorney working with us to quickly settle the case we will have two separate attorneys working against each other, each charging triple the rate of the one I'd originally hired. I think I can say goodbye to anything resembling a quick divorce.

Yesterday I had my consult with the new attorney. After hearing how Jeannette had proceeded up to that point she ordered me to go to the Domestic Relations Office and file a Spousal Support claim based on the large disparity in our respective incomes. WTF?? I had no idea I could even do that, and am not real comfortable with doing so but since I have to pay this woman $300/hour you can bet your ass I'm going to do as she tells me. It sure did hurt signing that $3,000 retainer check, it better be worth it.

On another note I think I've figured out why she who can not be named is acting like such a bitch. She's taking her divorce advice from two different people; a gay man who's never been married and her sister who went through a bitter divorce not long ago. These two live completely different lifestyles than we do (the sister has children), are in waaayyyyy different income brackets with assets far above ours and have completely different life philosophies than we do but she seems intent on following their every word. Neither one has bothered to ask me my side or bothered to make any effort to find the whole story before offering their advice. She's taking that advice, knowing that's is based on her rather twisted version of what's been going on. Karma will come back to bite her in the ass, I just know it and I can't wait to see it.

You Never Really Know Someone Until...

First it was "You never really know someone until you live with them." Sounds reasonable enough, but you can still get to know them better.

Later that changes to "You never really know someone until you are married to them." That's much closer to the truth, but still not quite all the way there yet.

In reality, you never truly know someone until you divorce them, only then do you see them for the arrogantly selfish, materialistic, spiteful thieving bitch they truly are.