Vacation Time!

Reservations for my flights and my airport parking are made and confirmed, the banking is done, the bills are paid, the orchids and other house plants are all watered, the litter box is cleaned, the recyclables have all been dropped off at the collection center, the house is mostly clean and I am all packed. I think I need a vacation from all the preparation for going on vacation! Now I'll probably spend the next few hours driving myself crazy wondering what I forgot... I hate that!

It will sure be good to get away from home for a few days. I leave this afternoon to go spend almost a week with Lisa and family, in Utah this time. Aside from flying over it I've not seen any of Utah so I'm looking forward to it. Plus I know I'll be in good company, so that's even better! I've already been warned that the boys want to fill my luggage with rocks (fossils they've found and collected) so I think I better bring along an extra bag, lol. Let airport security figure that one out.

Here's yet another online quiz for your amusement. I was extremely surprised when I took it. Me of all people, sarcastic? The nerve!! See where you rate.

You're Totally Sarcastic

You sarcastic? Never! You're as sweet as a baby bunny. Seriously, though, you have a sharp tongue and you aren't afraid to use it. And if people are too wimpy to deal with your attitude then too bad. So sad.

How Sarcastic Are You?

What's Your Party?

I forgot about these right after I did them, so here they are now. Better late than never!

You Are 40% Democrat

You're a bit Democrat, and probably more liberal than you realize. If you're still voting Republican, maybe it's time that you stop.

How Democrat Are You?

Nothing earth shattering there, so I figured I may as well take the other one.

You Are 16% Republican

If you have anything in common with the Republican party, it's by sheer chance. You're a staunch liberal, and nothing is going to change that!

How Republican Are You?

Uh oh, I've been called the dreaded "L" word. Oh for shame! I'll take it though, "liberal" sounds better than "supporter of a murderous lying buffoon." I don't really think these lame internet tests are all that accurate but it's still nice of them to show that I put my money where my mouth is. I'm always saying that blind partisanship is bullshit, vote the issue not the platform. At 40% Democrat, 16% Republican and 44% other (whatever that may be) it looks like my opinions are spread out amongst all parties and platforms. Go me!

Immigration

Since the topic of immigration seemed to touch a nerve I decided to blog about it. Personally I'm all for immigration, but with conditions. Most importantly, follow proper legal procedure and pay your share. Next, learn the bloody language. This is America, an English speaking country. We should never ever have to press 1 to continue in English. Finally, you are coming to America to be an American so you damned well better act like one.

If you want to be Mexican, befriend only other Mexicans and speak only Spanish then stay in Mexico. This applies to all other nationalities as well. This is America, by coming here you imply that you want to be American. Learn the customs and follow the rules. I'm not saying that immigrants should forget their heritage, that's an unreasonable request and one with no merit whatsoever. It is quite reasonable however to ask, even to demand, that once you are an American you start acting like it. If that's a problem, leave.

What follows is the text of an e-mail I received not too long ago, the general theme is the same."Recently large demonstrations have taken place across the country protesting the fact that Congress is finally addressing the issue of illegal immigration. Certain people are angry that the US might protect its own borders, might make it harder to sneak into this country and, once here, to stay indefinitely. Let me see if I correctly understand the thinking behind these protests.

Let's say I break into your house. Let's say that when you discover me in your house, you insist that I leave. But I say, 'I've made all the beds and washed the dishes and did the laundry and swept the floors; I've done all the things you don't like to do. I'm hard-working and honest (except for when I broke into your house).'

According to the protesters, not only must you let me stay, you must add me to your family's insurance plan, educate my kids, and provide other benefits to me and to my family (my husband will do your yard work because he too is hard-working and honest, except for that breaking in part).

If you try to call the police or force me out, I will call my friends, who will picket your house carrying signs that proclaim my right to be there. It's only fair, after all, because you have a nicer house than I do, and I'm just trying to better myself. I'm hard-working and honest, um, except for well, you know.

And what a deal it is for me!! I live in your house, contributing only a fraction of the cost of my keep, and there is nothing you can do about it without being accused of selfishness and prejudice. Oh, and I want you to learn my language so you can communicate with me."

Only in America.... Pass it on (in English) if you find this ridiculous. Share it if you see the value of it as a good simile or even just to provide a smile

Mandatory Urine Tests?

It's official, I'm losing my mind. This will be the second time in a week that I decided to write another blog entry then forgot what I was going to blog about. Duh me. After forgetting what I was going to blog about I figured I'd just rant about something but after thinking about it for a few minutes I realized I wasn't even pissed off about anything. How's that for scary?

To prevent the cobwebs from forming I have to put something here so I'll just start posting the forwarded e-mails which I receive almost daily. This one comes (supposedly) from the readers' opinion column of a newspaper in Riddle, Oregon. For those of you who don't know, the random urine test the writer refers to are the random drug screenings required by a majority of employers in the US.

"I have a question, not only for Douglas County, but for the entire state of Oregon. Like a lot of folks in this state, I have a job. I work, they pay me, i pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as they see fit. In order for me to get that paycheck I am required to pass a random urine test, which I have no problem with.

What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test. Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check, because I have to pass one to go earn it for them?

Please understand, I have nothing against helping people get back on their feet. I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sit on their butt. Could you imagine how much money the state would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check?"

While it sounded kind of funny at first, the more I think about it the more I realize that the writer may actually have a valid point. What do you think?

Hating on Yahoo!

I'd like to take this opportunity to loudly declare my firm belief that YAHOO! SUCKS!. Lately it seems that every part of their services have been screwed up. As usual, if you do manage to get a response from an actual person at Yahpoo! Customer Care they just tell you that they were unable to replicate the problem then try to pass it off as a problem with your computer.

360° is screwy, html blog entries require repeated and extensive re-editing before they post correctly and the Share Photos feature seems to be broken too. I got so fed up that I made a myspace page and copied most of my blogs to it.

Y! Photos is all buggered up too. It seems they've updated the whole interface and given it some new features. Nice! Too bad most of it doesn't work.

Yahoo! Message Boards are screwed up, "technical difficulty" error messages out the wazoo. Sometimes they open, sometimes they don't. Sometimes when they open correctly they even remember your settings! Wow ... progress!

Then we get to Yahoo! Answers. It used to be fun helping people out but now the site is now full of assholes, idiots, spammers, homophobes, racists and any other low-life form of bigoted horse's ass you can imagine so I quit going there. Now I have to find something else to do, again. Viva la Yahpoo!!

Another "How NOT To Start Your Day"

My Wednesday morning got off to a terrible start, and for those cruel people who like to laugh at my misfortune (no names mentioned of course *cough cough Nicole cough cough*) I'll tell you all about it.

I had a nasty head cold a couple or three weeks back that ended up staying with me in the form of a hacking cough from Hell. I'm talking the kind of cough that leaves you curled up on the floor in a ball drooling all over yourself and wishing your ribs and stomach didn't feel like you'd been beaten with a baseball bat.

Finally I give in and go to the doctor. I get two antibiotics and two prescription cough suppressants. Well, they don't work so I go get chest x-rays to see if it's pneumonia. Fortunately, it's not. Since the x-rays came back negative I was sent to an Ear, Nose and Throat doctor, and that is where the fun began.

The first thing that bastard did was to squirt some nasty tasting concoction straight up my nose with no warning. When I commented on the taste he said "That's nothing, wait til the next one". He wasn't kidding, the next one was just plain vile. After that he left for a few minutes, coming back when my sinuses "should" have been numb. Guess what? They weren't, as I found out when the sadist grabbed some scope thingamajig on an eighteen inch fiber optic cable and rammed it up my nose, through my sinuses and down my throat. Holy Christ that hurt! It was the kind of pain that brings tears to your eyes no matter how hard you resist.

So I started my morning in a lot of pain with tears running down my face and snot running out my nose, pinned to a chair by a sadistic bastard while gagging and retching from this damned scope thing in my throat (which served to remind me once again that I'd never make it as a gay man). All of this before I even got to work. The next doctor who tries to send me to one of those twisted "specialists" is going to get smacked!!

So, how was your morning?

Boring Sunday At Work (a day late)

So, I'm working Sunday, minding my own business when I realize that something is a bit different outside. I kept seeing cars stop, their occupants get out, then a minute later get back in and drive off. As soon I got the chance I wandered over to the door to have a look. The cause of the commotion quickly became obvious, after all it's not every day that you see a $270,000 Lamborghini Murciélago parked on the street. People were stopping their cars to photograph the thing then continuing on their merry way.

   

It seems local boy Bam Margera was back in town, I guess visiting his family for the holidays. If you don't know who he is, he's part of MTV's Jackass show, and he has his own show called Viva La Bam. He's also a fairly well known skateboarder.

My terrible celebrity photo