Sunday, March 4, 2012

Urban Dictionary: Christianity

I was researching something earlier today and after clicking numerous links and googling terms from some of those results I somehow ended up on this page, much to my amusement. Some of the "definitions" were actually quite funny, while still holding more than a grain of truth. Here's a few of my favorites

"A religion that would have made sense had it not been for the nature and character of its followers."

"The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree."   I laughed out loud when I read that one

"A pyramid scheme based on a philosophy that was fairly progressive 2000 years ago. It has been rendered obsolete by modern scientific understanding largely due to its inability to resolve its inconsistencies through intelligently-applied critical thinking. It now serves as a means of deterring social and political advancement and as a tax on the gullible."

"A really cool religion, because if you follow it then you can go around raping, beating, and killing people, and as long as you confess your sins at the end of the day and repent you'll go to heaven!!!!!"

"A good excuse to write jokes on Urban Dictionary."

"One woman's lie about an affair that got seriously out of hand."   LOL!!

"Nothing more than a Jewish sect with borrowed pagan holidays that got too popular for its own good."

"A Christian is a man who repents on Sunday for what he did on Saturday and will do again on Monday. "

There are seventeen pages of "definitions", some realistic, some not so much. It's good for a laugh if nothing else.

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