Thursday, December 21, 2006

Another "How NOT To Start Your Day"

My Wednesday morning got off to a terrible start, and for those cruel people who like to laugh at my misfortune (no names mentioned of course *cough cough Nicole cough cough*) I'll tell you all about it.

I had a nasty head cold a couple or three weeks back that ended up staying with me in the form of a hacking cough from Hell. I'm talking the kind of cough that leaves you curled up on the floor in a ball drooling all over yourself and wishing your ribs and stomach didn't feel like you'd been beaten with a baseball bat.

Finally I give in and go to the doctor. I get two antibiotics and two prescription cough suppressants. Well, they don't work so I go get chest x-rays to see if it's pneumonia. Fortunately, it's not. Since the x-rays came back negative I was sent to an Ear, Nose and Throat doctor, and that is where the fun began.

The first thing that bastard did was to squirt some nasty tasting concoction straight up my nose with no warning. When I commented on the taste he said "That's nothing, wait til the next one". He wasn't kidding, the next one was just plain vile. After that he left for a few minutes, coming back when my sinuses "should" have been numb. Guess what? They weren't, as I found out when the sadist grabbed some scope thingamajig on an eighteen inch fiber optic cable and rammed it up my nose, through my sinuses and down my throat. Holy Christ that hurt! It was the kind of pain that brings tears to your eyes no matter how hard you resist.

So I started my morning in a lot of pain with tears running down my face and snot running out my nose, pinned to a chair by a sadistic bastard while gagging and retching from this damned scope thing in my throat (which served to remind me once again that I'd never make it as a gay man). All of this before I even got to work. The next doctor who tries to send me to one of those twisted "specialists" is going to get smacked!!

So, how was your morning?

Tuesday, December 5, 2006

Boring Sunday At Work (a day late)

So, I'm working Sunday, minding my own business when I realize that something is a bit different outside. I kept seeing cars stop, their occupants get out, then a minute later get back in and drive off. As soon I got the chance I wandered over to the door to have a look. The cause of the commotion quickly became obvious, after all it's not every day that you see a $270,000 Lamborghini MurciƩlago parked on the street. People were stopping their cars to photograph the thing then continuing on their merry way.

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It seems local boy Bam Margera was back in town, I guess visiting his family for the holidays. If you don't know who he is, he's part of MTV's Jackass show, and he has his own show called Viva La Bam. He's also a fairly well known skateboarder.

My terrible celebrity photo